"Me Doob Raha hon..."

"Me Doob Raha hon..."

Khwab hain soony soony, Khyalon py dhond hai chai ho,

Ik nzr bhatak rahi h, ik nzr uljh rahi ho,

Ik ehsas esa keh, koi sath ho mery,

Ik khof esa keh, koi pallu choot raha ho,

Muddaton baad jesy, koi apna rooth raha ho,

Ik anjana sa dar h mjko, 

ik na-ashna si khushi chany wali ho,

Me lakh kron minnat uski, 

mery upr jiska saya ho..

Me bhagon to jakarron, .

me rukon to sakta taari ho..

Mera zahir, mra batin cheekh raha ho,

Me doob raha hon, me doob raha hon…

#Mian

CRIES.....

In that blind moment surrounded by dejectedness and darkness, a voice echoed almost instantly. Spoken were the words so clear and ardent that his heart almost jump started and thumped so loudly that his brain could no longer be numb.......
It was at this juncture that tears sprouted and air broke out of his lungs rushing through his throat and screaming out loud, "I WANT TO BELONG". Lost was a soul loved by him, ignored was another due to it. Both were his own and dear yet that incident wore him down like a race horse that looses it's will to run........
In that deep grieve he realised that the one he cherished, the one he mourned had left her a light. A shining star and a bright ray of hope was his guidance towards a path, a tack to revive what he had lost. Through those words he was galvanised to avenge what was his and what would be him forever........
Those words were,
                      "I WILL STICK WITH YOU DAD, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES"


Someone wrote that the things you love to do can revive you of your sadness, I guess this is just what I needed today.........

Writing The Nature

She was a girl who was overly sensitive , who used to cry over every thing no matter how minor it was but with passage of time she changed for good.
She felt in the same way but now she got a control over her tears and emotions and whenever the limits of bearing were crossed she locked her self in and burst out into tears and let out all she had kept in for a long time.
Then came a stage when her feelings started to take form of words, words directly from the soul. Every feeling was turned into colours on a paper in matter of seconds but this halted .. all of a sudden.
This was because writing made her feel things very deeply. Depth which made her hallucinate, over think and as a result suffer more -something that wasn't supposed to be that way.
She felt hollow,defeated,depressed,ignored and most agonizing ... she felt nothingness. The girl who used to notice every little detail and felt every thing to its core felt nothing at all , vain and helpless.
She even ignored the nature - nature which she once adored and could die for a few minutes under the night sky, now for months she didn't look at them. The smell of flowers, buzzing bees, the wet grass at dawn, all the beauty she once craved for was no more beautiful and full of colours or may be it made her realize about the ugliness of life. She ignored every invitation of nature and continued to live as a hollow being.
She lost her worth and was unable to live with that fact, but one day out if nowhere the odds favored her, for the first time in forever. The same thing which made her feel down and worthless now made her feel alive.
She had lost all hopes but nature gave signals, signals she waited for desperately once , her instincts encouraged her as well and Voila!!! She got what she ever wanted.
Things made sense once again , she was free to feel and write. She was in a state of unexplainable joy. After a long period she paid attention towards the sky ,which was full of dark clouds. She was looking at them with sparkle in her eyes hoping that the nature would forgive her for ignoring it , and it did. The sky poured down the waters over her as a token of forgiveness.
She felt alive once again. Once again her belief was strengthened that the nature gives us signs ...!!

The Mistake

He toppled into a discrepancy, the discrepancy of  unfathomable fondness. It felt alive and unlike anything he had ever touched. He could levitate higher, higher than those balls of burning blue and red flames in that space above him. He could be burned but would still feel invincible, ashed and still be immortal. He would swallow his pride, he would chew up his attitude just to be with her.........

As she left , that was the only moment he knew to be true for what was a virtual facet. The moment he crossed that threshold was the moment he became a man. His mind boomed with all those thoughts yet blaming himself for being so naive. He mistook the meaning of  Love only to end up in a night so dark as if the stars were no more , as if the moon had gone astray........

So, he just endured it facing that band dressed up in Red, Green, and Gold. He stood there with his eyes exploring the abyss dead straight in front of him. He celebrated with the color of black for the juncture he had been dragged into, and blue for the portrait of his sad self.
How he had not assessed what he was going to be in with....................

DEAD EYES

Today he saw her after quite a long time, of the time which he don't have any count. He would never recognize her if he wouldn't have heard her name, she was talking to someone and that in that conversation that person spoke her name out loud and he, who was passing nearby suddenly froze because after the name, the laugh was a familiar one. A laugh which can produce sunshine in the harsh cold, which can make pain go away, which without any reason can smooth en your soul. He turned to see and there she was, the one whom was once precious. She was as prefect as she used to be. The same charismatic girl he knew, the girl who took life as a happening thing, to her everything was to extreme because she never want a mid way for things. Everything was as prefect as he knew but than why his heart was giving him alarming sounds, why his heart was not accepting this prefect figure which his eyes was mesmerized from so he went straight to her. By seeing him coming her heart missed a beat, she was not believing that after so long she will b able to see him, whom her eyes wished to see with every passing second of her life. But things weren't the same they used to have or once how it was. They both greeted each other and talked about how life changes after and how they moved along in their life's. Soon they both parted saying farewell but he, he was lost in his heart, because it was correct something was wrong as the girl might b a prefect one but a broken one. He remembered that her eyes were sparkling one's, kind of eyes which can gave you peace by looking in it, which sparkling can gave life to you, those which were easily called happy eyes, which can easily gave the insight of her heart and her feelings, but today they were barren, having a coldness inside, a kind of coldness which was horrifying to look at. The perfection in herself was still prominent but without feelings. She told him once that "death sometimes is not just for your body to get buried or to the physicality of you, sometimes it's just to bury your soul which died" and he never agree to her on that. And today he knew what exactly age meant by the death of soul and it's burial and he understood that the emptiness of her eyes was the death of her soul, and those things which are dead cant have any signs of life.

SHE IS ALL CURSED !

She was leaving him as its been too long they were together. She was not leaving because she was over him but because he was getting addicted to her. His addiction was not letting him think anything off her, he was getting more concerned and more caring towards her with each day passing and that was scaring her, scaring her to death. She cant let him near her as she was lethal and dangerous to people around her. "Why are you doing this to me? You prefectly knew that I can't think my life without you. I want you in my life. You were in my life when I was disowned by everyone. When I was broken into hundred of pieces and I was unable to gather myself up but u reconstructed me. You made me what I am today. How could you possibly do this to me." She was speechless because she was doing something bad to him, she was again making him the same scattered soul she once knew. But she was helpless, she can't help it because she knew staying with him will make her pay one day, as he was her weakness now and she had always suffered at the hand of her weaknesses. " Well everyone have to go one day and I guess it's my time but it doesn't mean the end of world or that you have done something wrong. It's just me! I am cursed for people around me. Those around me got hurt because of me and those bad vibes I got. Happiness are not meant for people like me so how come you thought about me being happy. And you are talking about reconstruction how could I ever reconstructed you? Haven't you seen how broken I am? Haven't you observed my deserted eyes? Haven't you witnessed me getting lost while you talking and my illogical n unsensible talks? So how could I be a blessing to someone when I am a curse to my ownself. So going away from you or making you away is for you own betterment because I don't have the strength to loss you as I have already lost alot on the way of my journey. So I am just making you safe by doing this." And with saying this she left him, hurting him again which she never wanted but this will heal n he will b saved from the curse she had on him. But he will never understand it he will always consider her the culprit the guilty and most of all a evil mean selfish person. But she is all cursed!!!

One of life's philosophy!

She was standing there all alone amongst the crowd. All carrying red balloons,hers was blue. She was wearing blue frock with her hair left loose so her curls could hide the scars on her cheeks near the ears.She noticed the colorful frocks of all the girls around her.Only hers was all plain blue with no extravaganza.She clearly stood out from the crowd. she had no friends anymore.they were no longer with her as soon as they saw the scars near her ears.they didn't ask how, they didn't ask why.They just called her ugly and left her all alone.they never cared to see whether she had a golden heart or a black one like they possessed. Her eyes were vacant and sort of carried a dead expression in them.they were dark and lonely and sad..Her soul was more damaged than her.cheeks, but her heart was created of gold, like the color of sun that shines the moon by sitting backstage while the spotlight of being the most beautiful and mystic creation is stolen by the moon.. the sun shines so bright that it blinds the eyes of the onlooker.have you ever realized that we humans forget that the moon doesn't have the light of itself and instead of blaming the scorching sun, we should remember that the nature shows us the way of lightening others esp those who don't have the light of their own if we have the outburst of light in us.sun is a perfect example of this law.Her heart was like the sun but this is how the world and its mortal human beings work , don't they? Ignoring the real reason behind the shine of one dark material.

Left BEHIND

I cry for the times that you were almost mine. I cry for the memories I've left behind. I cry for the pain, the lost, the old, the new. I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Sketch Artist:
Haseeb Khan
https://www.facebook.com/haseebkhanarts

Affliction!

I dwell in the miseries of nights,

Dark nights,

That keep me wide awake,

That crawl under my skin,

I wade through these nights alone,

Where i hide behind the dark,

Wandering over the shores,

The waves touch it and LEAVE,

Like a phantom,

Travelling from wall to wall,

I wander through the city,

The city where the darkest fears lay,

The city that is called anguish,

The high state of mind,

Defines our misery,

Emancipation of hopes,

Fools call it their paradise..