Writing The Nature

She was a girl who was overly sensitive , who used to cry over every thing no matter how minor it was but with passage of time she changed for good.
She felt in the same way but now she got a control over her tears and emotions and whenever the limits of bearing were crossed she locked her self in and burst out into tears and let out all she had kept in for a long time.
Then came a stage when her feelings started to take form of words, words directly from the soul. Every feeling was turned into colours on a paper in matter of seconds but this halted .. all of a sudden.
This was because writing made her feel things very deeply. Depth which made her hallucinate, over think and as a result suffer more -something that wasn't supposed to be that way.
She felt hollow,defeated,depressed,ignored and most agonizing ... she felt nothingness. The girl who used to notice every little detail and felt every thing to its core felt nothing at all , vain and helpless.
She even ignored the nature - nature which she once adored and could die for a few minutes under the night sky, now for months she didn't look at them. The smell of flowers, buzzing bees, the wet grass at dawn, all the beauty she once craved for was no more beautiful and full of colours or may be it made her realize about the ugliness of life. She ignored every invitation of nature and continued to live as a hollow being.
She lost her worth and was unable to live with that fact, but one day out if nowhere the odds favored her, for the first time in forever. The same thing which made her feel down and worthless now made her feel alive.
She had lost all hopes but nature gave signals, signals she waited for desperately once , her instincts encouraged her as well and Voila!!! She got what she ever wanted.
Things made sense once again , she was free to feel and write. She was in a state of unexplainable joy. After a long period she paid attention towards the sky ,which was full of dark clouds. She was looking at them with sparkle in her eyes hoping that the nature would forgive her for ignoring it , and it did. The sky poured down the waters over her as a token of forgiveness.
She felt alive once again. Once again her belief was strengthened that the nature gives us signs ...!!

The Change in Routine

He whistled along the morning news sound track on the radio as his fingers adjusted the tie knot on the raised collars of his old but neat shirt. Hurriedly, adjusting his collars with one hand and stacking all the books scattered on the carpeted floor with the other, Ali sat down on the small chair in his room which was well-lit by the morning sun. He answered the news guy’s greeting with a smile on his face while tying his shoe laces. The news, as usual, was not of Ali’s interest.  He switched off his little portable radio and reached for his bag over the unmade beddings on the floor. He pulled the bag over his shoulder and grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall. Shutting the door behind him, he ran downstairs. The land lady was walking in the small garden. Ali wished her a loud, “Good Morning!” and got a stern reply. Not paying much attention to her, he kicked the scooter to a start and began his daily journey.

 The scooter stopped at the same tea restaurant to which he had been coming to for over a couple of years now. The owner, Majeed, wished him from the counter with a smile and he returned the gesture with a raised hand. The waiter came running towards him with ‘today’s breakfast’, but he already knew the menu. He sipped his cup of tea while fiddling with the bread in front of him when he heard the voice he had been expecting right at the moment. “Ali Sahib! You look as hot as ever. Hope today we see a nice girl when you return!” Rani, the eunuch, jested at him. “Rani, no girl can ever match your beauty.” he smiled and reached for his wallet.  ”Sahib! Leave the money. Your words are enough for me today.” Rani answered with a wink.  Even though he knew that Rani was an important part of the vile business of a brothel but still Ali had certain affection for this eunuch. He got up, left a few bucks on the table and raced his scooter towards the office building.

 Ali reached just in time, a few minutes before his boss arrived. He sat in his cubicle starting off with all his routine work. The boss came and started his long speech while elaborating the day’s targets and assigning tasks.  It was a hectic day and Ali felt relieved at midday during the break. After the break it was the same usual humdrum. Exhausted and drenched he left the office after his boss left. It was not that he disliked his job but he was sometimes tired of the monotony. That was the reason he had decided to continue his education. Nowadays he was at war with the books waiting for him inside his small rented room.

In his thoughts, humming to himself, Ali rode his scooter back on the same roads. As he neared home, he suddenly heard someone shouting his name from an alley. Cautiously turning the scooter towards the direction of the voice, Ali saw what he would never forget. A teenage girl was surrounded by three young boys and on the side walk Rani was lying in a pool of blood.  Hearing the scooter, the boys ran into the neighboring alley.  Ali jumped off the scooter and ran towards Rani who was now unconscious. He stopped a cab on the road and with the help of the girl placed Rani inside it. Ali jumped in the front seat and the girl got in the rear with Rani. After a few sprinkles of water Rani gained consciousness. Seeing Ali, Rani reached for his shoulder  and whispered, “Sahib!… Take care of my girls….You look hot as…”

With an agonizing smile Rani fell asleep never to wake up again. Ali buried the body in a deserted graveyard after a small funeral by the locals. He took a cab with the girl and reached back to the alley where he left the scooter. The scooter was gone and Rani’s blood was drying up. He took a deep sigh and covered his face in his hands. The cab driver shook him and asked for the destination. He gestured towards the girl, asking her to guide the driver.

The cab stopped at the door of a crooked building inside a dark lane. He stepped out and the girl took the lead. Entering the building, he heard faint sounds of Eastern music playing inside. Bypassing several doors the girl lead him to a small door and went inside. A middle aged man sat on the ground with his legs folded. Upon seeing him the girl starting sobbing and ran to hug the man. Ali sat nearby on the floor. “What is it, my dear?” inquired the man. “Baba! Rani is dead.” cried the girl. Baba sighed heavily.  Looking at Ali, he inquired, “Who are you?” Ali replied uneasily “I’m Ali. Rani asked me to take care of…the girls. I don’t know what was meant by that.” Baba kissed the sobbing girl’s head and asked her to go to her room. He got up, stretched the prayer rag on the ground. Asking Ali to join him, he started off with his prayers. Ali had not prayed in years and he was stunned to see this man praying inside a brothel. He sat still, his mind blank, when he heard Baba’s voice; “You don’t seem to be on good terms with God!” he was smiling as he folded the rag. “I don’t know. Maybe I am not comfortable praying in here.” replied Ali. “Well, you may have to if you are willing to fulfill Rani’s wish.” said Baba smiling, “Come! Let me show you around.”

Baba led the way and Ali followed. They entered a hall where music was playing loudly and a veiled girl danced in the center. Baba sat down on a cushion amongst the cheering people in the hall and beckoned Ali to follow. The men in the hall drank to their heart. A serving girl came with more drinks. The men tried to play with the girl and pulled at her veil. Baba got up and took the girl’s job, waving her away. The men abused Baba for this and pounced on the dancing girl instead. Baba took out a gun from his side and waved at them to back off asking Ali to show them outside.

Closing the doors behind the men, Ali rushed back to Baba and inquired about the situation. Baba took him to his room and asked instead, “What did you observe?” “I saw a girl dancing and some guys enjoying the moment until you spoiled it.” Replied Ali. “You see only what your eyes see. You don’t look beyond.” Baba seemed disappointed. “Tell me what’s beyond!” inquired Ali. “Rani used to be there instead of the serving girl. We drug the men in audience so they sleep till the morning. This way none of the girls get even touched. I’m the only pimp who looks after virgins here.” Baba came closer to him and asked, “Are you willing to take Rani’s job?” Ali fell down on his knees and held his head in his hands. This was too much for him to digest in a day. Baba placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “Get ready if you are willing.” Ali was confused, “Ready for what?” Baba remained calm, “Ready to fulfill Rani’s wish. The Maalik would be here soon.”  And Baba left the room.

                Moments later the door opened and Baba entered with a stout man wearing too much gold. The man shouted “I don’t know whatever it is! I want the fucking business running. Just do it! Bring him down!” The man left.

                Baba then came along and took Ali in another room with a tiled floor. He asked him to lie down on the cot in the center. The stout Maalik stood along watching keenly.  He injected Ali and a few moments later Ali went into a deep slumber. When he woke up he felt a deep agonizing pain in his groin. He was injected again and he slept. When he finally woke up he was asked to dress in silken women clothes. Baba came along, giving him a tray of serving cups, he led him to the door of the hall and gestured him to go inside. Ali served everyone in the audience and was not touched even once. He sat at a side in the hall. Later on the men started dozing off. A few moments later, all of them were fast asleep. The veiled girl stopped dancing and removed her veil. She smiled at Ali and left the room. Baba took Ali by the arm and led him to his room. He started speaking, “the Malik wants a eunuch only to deal with the girls and customers so this is a price you pay for a little good”.  “Why are you not castrated?” asked Ali.  “Well, I am his son.” Ali was shocked but Baba Interrupted before he could speak. “Let’s pray.”

                Next day Ali went to the same tea restaurant and saw a guy in an old but neat shirt with a necktie having breakfast. Ali said with a smile, “Sahib! You look hot. May you get a lot of girls today!” the man asked, “who are you?”  Ali hesitated, “I am Ali-sha….I am Alisha.” The man said, “Well Alisha you are the hottest girl around.” and he reached for his wallet. Ali stopped him and said, “Your words are better than your money.” Ali then went to Majeed who gestured him to stop with his hand and said, “I know everything. Welcome to the new world. Go and pray! Do pray for me! I wish I had the courage to be in your place. My restaurant is free for you. You are God’s favorite!”

It was the first time in his life that Ali felt he had accomplished something. He started walking towards a neglected side of the city. There, in a deserted graveyard, rested someone whom he had to thank for this blessing.             

Rang aur Insan

Rangoon ka bi ajeeb hi khel hai. Kabhi kabhi rangoon ka taluq kisi ek rang sa hota hai, wo ek wahid rang jo rangoon ko motabaar krta hai. Wo ek rang jis ki talash mai sari zindagi guzar jati hai, wo ek rang jo hazaroon rangoon mai bi ho tu door sa nazar usko pehchan layti hai aur kabhi us ek rang ki kami bki rangoon ko berang kar dayti hai. Us ek rang ka hona khushii aur sakoon ki allamat hai aur us k na honay sa hazaroo waswasay zindagi mai aa jaty hai. Yehi haal insan ka bi hai. Usay b rangoon ki tarah motabaar karny k liye ek aisa hi rang chaiye hota hai jo usko munfarid kary, jo us ko mukamal kary jo sirf ushi ki zaat ka mehwaar ho. Us k liye wo ek rang jaisy sari kainat ho jis ko wo lahkoon k hajoom mai bi bina kisi duswaarii k dhoond lay. Aur wo us k rang mai rangta chala jata hai bina yeh sochy k us ka rang uski zaat par aashanaaz ho ga b k nhi. Magar wo us rang k rang mai khud ko fanna kar dayta hai aur wo rang yeh keh kar akhir mai usko chor jata hai k yeh kis rang mai rang gye ho. Rang aur insan kehny ko ek jaisy zarur ho skty hai hai magar haqeeqat mai hai nhi kyu k rang ek dafa char kar uthartha nhi aur na hi usko baad mai koi gilla hota hai jb k insan dosaray insan ko apnay rang mai daal kar usko yeh keh kar chor dayta hai k tm wo rang nhi jo mai chahta tha.

One of life's philosophy!

She was standing there all alone amongst the crowd. All carrying red balloons,hers was blue. She was wearing blue frock with her hair left loose so her curls could hide the scars on her cheeks near the ears.She noticed the colorful frocks of all the girls around her.Only hers was all plain blue with no extravaganza.She clearly stood out from the crowd. she had no friends anymore.they were no longer with her as soon as they saw the scars near her ears.they didn't ask how, they didn't ask why.They just called her ugly and left her all alone.they never cared to see whether she had a golden heart or a black one like they possessed. Her eyes were vacant and sort of carried a dead expression in them.they were dark and lonely and sad..Her soul was more damaged than her.cheeks, but her heart was created of gold, like the color of sun that shines the moon by sitting backstage while the spotlight of being the most beautiful and mystic creation is stolen by the moon.. the sun shines so bright that it blinds the eyes of the onlooker.have you ever realized that we humans forget that the moon doesn't have the light of itself and instead of blaming the scorching sun, we should remember that the nature shows us the way of lightening others esp those who don't have the light of their own if we have the outburst of light in us.sun is a perfect example of this law.Her heart was like the sun but this is how the world and its mortal human beings work , don't they? Ignoring the real reason behind the shine of one dark material.

Fallen Masks

They say why people meet if they are meant to be separated.But my question is why flowers bloom if they are to be wilted , why we win, if he have to lose again , why we sleep if we have to wake up again, and why we live if we have to die one day, the answer to all this is time.Things change with time, as time passes, new qualities evolve. We learn to live on without the things which keep on stabbing us and then we realize the need to change,to change the priorities , to change the requirements and trust me if u don't change you will end up destroying yourself because this world is all about people with masks and whenever the mask falls we seem to have perception that the person has changed but that's not the truth. That changed person is the real person. Its really hard to find people these days who are same inside out because  in this society of double faced people their survival is hard. You are in turn compelled to wear a mask and fake a smile .