wo aik kahmosh c paheli !

..ghambeer khamoshi.aur wo khudi se sawal kr k khudi jawab dhoond ri..kbi khud ko mutma'in krne k lye koi jawaz deti..kbi khud ko hi wakt k panchi pr uraan bharnay deti..kbi khud num ankhain chupanay ki tug-o-do mein wo,apne chehre pr gham abaarat krleti..kbi chehre ki wairaani ko ankhon mein samo leti..wo uski ankhon ki nami aur chehre ki thakan dikhae sb ko deti.. saway uske jo uski waja buna.. mgr usi ko wo kia roti..usay yaaron ne b na smjha..wo aik paheli c.. wo aik raaz c.. wo ikhlaaq k khol mein chupa hua asraar koi..wo wafa ki aik tasveer..roz us sarak k kinaray kisi k laut anay ka intezar krti..wo wisal ki ghariyon ko ginti..wo firaaq k lamhon ko roti..wo apne ap ko ghalat smjay janay pr ashk bahati.. mgr us nadaan ko ye na pata chala k ye dunia aur iske dhanday hi kch aise.. na janay kon thi wo.. kahan chali gae wo..

Writing The Nature

She was a girl who was overly sensitive , who used to cry over every thing no matter how minor it was but with passage of time she changed for good.
She felt in the same way but now she got a control over her tears and emotions and whenever the limits of bearing were crossed she locked her self in and burst out into tears and let out all she had kept in for a long time.
Then came a stage when her feelings started to take form of words, words directly from the soul. Every feeling was turned into colours on a paper in matter of seconds but this halted .. all of a sudden.
This was because writing made her feel things very deeply. Depth which made her hallucinate, over think and as a result suffer more -something that wasn't supposed to be that way.
She felt hollow,defeated,depressed,ignored and most agonizing ... she felt nothingness. The girl who used to notice every little detail and felt every thing to its core felt nothing at all , vain and helpless.
She even ignored the nature - nature which she once adored and could die for a few minutes under the night sky, now for months she didn't look at them. The smell of flowers, buzzing bees, the wet grass at dawn, all the beauty she once craved for was no more beautiful and full of colours or may be it made her realize about the ugliness of life. She ignored every invitation of nature and continued to live as a hollow being.
She lost her worth and was unable to live with that fact, but one day out if nowhere the odds favored her, for the first time in forever. The same thing which made her feel down and worthless now made her feel alive.
She had lost all hopes but nature gave signals, signals she waited for desperately once , her instincts encouraged her as well and Voila!!! She got what she ever wanted.
Things made sense once again , she was free to feel and write. She was in a state of unexplainable joy. After a long period she paid attention towards the sky ,which was full of dark clouds. She was looking at them with sparkle in her eyes hoping that the nature would forgive her for ignoring it , and it did. The sky poured down the waters over her as a token of forgiveness.
She felt alive once again. Once again her belief was strengthened that the nature gives us signs ...!!

God's there.. !

... then a day came when he left her ...in the mid of darkness and she was asking him with bare eyes : " why are you leaving?.. tell me Daniel? " and but that day he didn't say a word and left silently..left her without reasons, and with so many questions... left her between right and wrong..he left because he had to.. Her face was looking so wretched..she was crying helplessly she couldn't have stop him.. she sat there in that darkness for hours.. suddenly she felt her shriveled eyes  .. she shook her head and noticed the gyration was again started what was stopped some moments before ..what was that feeling ? pain of love ? "pain of love would be the most hurting one" those words from that tattered book were roaming in her head, the very moment she decided , that was the pain of love she felt right there, that day alone in that darkness under the empty sky ..she started shooting " Oh God! why have this all happened? why this has happened to me? why have you selected me to suffer this pain? Why me? Why have he left me? You know he had no right to do that to me..Sarah's eyes were again wet .. she cried her heart out and then... Then? Then What? Ah,,! She got up  without anyone's help she picked herself up again, wept her tears and started walking alone..All the way thinking to herself she seek .."What was that? who helped me to stand up again? I wasn't so strong I was so helpless..my agony,, that was so colossal.. no one was there.. aimlessly her eyes saw the sky...".. and then..
Sarah and I, both of us got the answer.. God is there.. Always..! You know.. he have already chosen those ones, who He loves.. He want them to be on His path.. He makes them see the Truth of life.. and makes them realize that there is no one except Him who loves them as truly as He do.. He pore their lives with miseries and let them SEE.. SEE HIM without being exposed..he let them see Him, feel Him..around them.. in everywhere...

Wait!

Her eyes..her eyes were the most beautiful creation of God he ever witnessed..for her eyes carried that one emotion that everybody carried but hers was intense..her eyes carried a staunch wait in them..her whole body alert on even the slightest sound..a humming bird humming far away..a train whistling in a distant district..the winds roaring..he wished for someone who waited for him too with such sincerity that she carried for her beloved.

A Goodbye

HE : i am in love  
SHE : really ? come on tell me with whom
HE : not yet 
SHE : you can trust me with it 
HE : To be honest  at the moment,i love everyone. i cant even tell a single name whom i don't love 
SHE : *stares amazed*
HE : what's with the flowers?
SHE : well i bought these flowers for you but , i guess now they are of no use .
HE : i love flowers,i will love to have them 
SHE : they were for the love of my life .. but now i guess i have lost him somewhere ... well you can keep it .. in case you find him
HE : yes, i am good at keeping things safe 
SHE : well i wont agree .... you just smashed my heart before turning away
HE : you never asked me to keep it,i never accepted to keep it. it was lying there on my doorstep 
SHE : heart is never asked to be kept ... if it is to be kept ... it is kept ... otherwise it just lies there .. on a doorstep .. or some dinner table on a date night
HE : you expected it to be a date night. i never said that we were dating. a dinner , a mere dinner? with my friend? was there candle light,roses,music? NO 
SHE : there was candle light ... when u were busy noticing the bling of the street ... there were roses when u had your eyes on that tulip garden ... there was music ... music of soul ... when u were too busy in noticing the voices of the crowd
HE : those street lights,tulips,and the crowd. that was romance. I've been in love. I've been hurt, I've cried. and the day she left me; all this made no sense to me anymore. 
SHE : so i was right u were still moving in the valleys of past . while a person was there to make u a part of her future? may be i cant fill her space but i am still here to give it a try  because i just cant see all those streaks of pain in your eyes
HE : my eyes sparkled because of her. i had the brightest smile because of her. i laughed on stupid,lame things it was HER. every time. how can i be so stupid i never realized. she was not anyone, she was my LIFE. i can never explain my love,because words wont do any justice to her breathtaking beauty. you are my once in a lifetime friend and always will be. i never felt the way i felt when i was with her 
SHE : love is to be felt not expressed in words she never valued u she had the most loyal person in front of her but she ignored because all she wanted was some bloody money and from that day u closed your hearts to everyone but i assure u one day this love of mine will melt that shattered heart .one day when u feel the warmth of my love , the purity of my feelings, friendship is the first step of love
HE : you dare not say anything about my love,money?i could do anything for her. ANYTHING *throws the wine glass away* i closed my heart,i closed it for everyone. i spend my days,i cant live them anymore. no matter how hard you try darling, the door of hearts are to be opened from inside 
SHE : that's the point .. she was just using you .. she just mocked your feelings ... leaving you feel worthless ... and wounded ... but these are the wounds from where light will enter .... and the doors will be opened from the inside ... life goes on ... soon u will feel those butterflies rambling in your stomach ...your heart racing at every sight of mine .... the worst of the days changing into blessed ones ... time will do miracles ... and that's the promise of a true heart ... *goes away smiling*
HE : someday,just not today. 
SHE : *turns * i can wait a life long for that day. goodbye

Affliction!

I dwell in the miseries of nights,

Dark nights,

That keep me wide awake,

That crawl under my skin,

I wade through these nights alone,

Where i hide behind the dark,

Wandering over the shores,

The waves touch it and LEAVE,

Like a phantom,

Travelling from wall to wall,

I wander through the city,

The city where the darkest fears lay,

The city that is called anguish,

The high state of mind,

Defines our misery,

Emancipation of hopes,

Fools call it their paradise..

Life

we always want a happy ending for it we only strive 

but nature has it's own way of bending because its the spark which keeps us alive

its not about wilting its about the delight of efflorese 

its not about losing its about the endeavor to eminence 

this life is not a bed of roses its a dark path full of thorns 

we think of it as proses but in real its the thoughts which are torn 

everyone who meets is not a friend some are there to pull you down

they are there to stab your back so beware and look around

utmost desires left unfulfilled indispensable prayers left unlistened 

life never let go a chance to leave us shocked and thrilled

always giving new reasons for heart to be glistened

non of us is impeccable all we need is an eye 

which ignores the things which are questionable and understands without asking why

trust in your Lord and move on as He pulls u back when you are about to drown 

whatever happens life goes on so there is no time to sit and to frown