DEAD EYES

Today he saw her after quite a long time, of the time which he don't have any count. He would never recognize her if he wouldn't have heard her name, she was talking to someone and that in that conversation that person spoke her name out loud and he, who was passing nearby suddenly froze because after the name, the laugh was a familiar one. A laugh which can produce sunshine in the harsh cold, which can make pain go away, which without any reason can smooth en your soul. He turned to see and there she was, the one whom was once precious. She was as prefect as she used to be. The same charismatic girl he knew, the girl who took life as a happening thing, to her everything was to extreme because she never want a mid way for things. Everything was as prefect as he knew but than why his heart was giving him alarming sounds, why his heart was not accepting this prefect figure which his eyes was mesmerized from so he went straight to her. By seeing him coming her heart missed a beat, she was not believing that after so long she will b able to see him, whom her eyes wished to see with every passing second of her life. But things weren't the same they used to have or once how it was. They both greeted each other and talked about how life changes after and how they moved along in their life's. Soon they both parted saying farewell but he, he was lost in his heart, because it was correct something was wrong as the girl might b a prefect one but a broken one. He remembered that her eyes were sparkling one's, kind of eyes which can gave you peace by looking in it, which sparkling can gave life to you, those which were easily called happy eyes, which can easily gave the insight of her heart and her feelings, but today they were barren, having a coldness inside, a kind of coldness which was horrifying to look at. The perfection in herself was still prominent but without feelings. She told him once that "death sometimes is not just for your body to get buried or to the physicality of you, sometimes it's just to bury your soul which died" and he never agree to her on that. And today he knew what exactly age meant by the death of soul and it's burial and he understood that the emptiness of her eyes was the death of her soul, and those things which are dead cant have any signs of life.

The Little Girl!

Taking a final look at my sleek outfit into my car's shining blackness I slam the door and smile at the radiance of my tailored black suit merging into the color of the Bugatti. My next move comes as an instinct. I turn around swiftly and my arm protrudes out of my side bringing the Rolex at a reasonable distance from my face. Eyeing the lights and beaming ladies of tonight's party, I fumble for the iPhone in my pocket and a moment later check its luminous screen for any updates. After these ceremonial moves my steps fall into a graceful gait. With curious eyes I take yet another look at the people flocking inside the expansive mansion in front of me. Some wearing all their wealth, a few elegant like me and others eager to join the company of people like me. I throw charms at the people eager to greet me and prepare myself like a warrior for tonight's rituals. It is always an impression of my money on the table, a few drinks and then walking away with the most beautiful lady in the house. At the end of the night being me is always worth it. Something in the midst of these thoughts gets my attention. I stop in my steps with my neck tilting uneasily towards a small gate made of iron bars, on the side wall of the mansion. My smiling eyes forget their blinking instinct for a moment. A little girl holding a small piece of bread smiles at the lights and colors of the mansion. She is covered in rags too dirty for this place and so she stands on the other side of the gate. Unintentionally my whole body makes a turn over my black laced shoes in the direction of this girl. Rushing through the people I reach the gate in her front. She looks at me and giggles but something brings tears to her eyes. My eyes fix on a deep cut on her cheek that prevents her from giggling. I extend my hand towards her. We both hesitate. She looks frightened and I am uneasy about the dirt on her skin. Then I take off my Rolex and extend it towards her, making a gesture for her to take it. She takes it, awed. Then she smiles and giggles and sobs. My heart bursts into a thousand pieces. I fall to the ground on my knees and pass my hands through the bars, pulling her closer. She grasps my black necktie and plays with it. I kiss the cut on her cheek. She gasps a little and then smiles. Suddenly I am struck by a thought. I get up and with a serious look I tell her to stay in the same place. I run back towards my Bugatti not caring to look into its beauty for a moment. On my next move the engine springs to life and I reverse it towards the small gate on the wall. I open the car door for the little girl. She comes running and jumps into the seat. I close the door for her. The stench coming from her seems to be the best fragrance in the whole world. I steer the car towards the road and she instantly hugs me and giggles but this time she doesn't sob. Maybe she has forgotten her pain. I also play along with a little kiddish laughter. I stop my car in the parking of a mall. Coming out of the car, I open her door and pick her up in my arms. She puts her little hand on a white frock in the garments shop. My credit card sees the rest. I take her to the restroom and wash her all up. She makes her face as I help her get into the new dress and I kiss her again. Now I come out of the restroom with a little angel in my arms. She points towards the candies on a side stall. I let her go free and she runs towards them. I follow her in her small steps. She fills hers fists with all the candies and then my front pocket too. As she kisses me there, everyone around smiles and tells me that I am lucky to have the most beautiful girl in the world with me. After an ice cream and few chocolates, she rests her head on my shoulder and yawns tiredly. I bring her back to the car and drive towards my place. She falls asleep on the way. I take her in my arms along to my bedroom. I dismiss all the servants and carefully put her on my bed. While taking off her shoes a tear falls from my eyes. I am dumbstruck. Never had I cried in my life but then it all came as a flash. My luxuries and deeds. I reach for some wine but the Holy Call reaches my ears from a distant place. I put the wine back and open the window. A gust of wind with the sound of God's name in it, takes me over. I fall back on the carpet and sit with my head in my knees. With a few deep breaths I give myself in to my new life. Instantly I turn around looking at the sleeping angle and whisper 'Thank you!.......For enlightening me!.....oh little girl!'

Resurrection

Nothing is ever to ponder

Thoughts stray hither and yonder

Shades of their restless eyes

Ravage the flawless disguise

No feeling remains now aside

In the shards of fallen pride

Figures falling in the center

Reckon Him as their mentor

Hopes here never go high

Every word then comes as a sigh 

Demise of beings becomes a lie

In the resurrecting man’s silent cry 

Risen from the ashes!

In the fire of their unfaithfulness they burned her; they burned her until her tender body and pure soul turned into ashes. A few days those ashes remained at the place they were. The breeze flew some of it that belonged to her soul but was lost forever. Over a course of few days, those ashes reformed. Reformed into someone that was not the same as old one but more powerful. The fragments of her soul were lost forever and could not be recovered. But she resurrected as damaged people know how to survive. Risen from the ashes now she lives her life. Stronger than ever before.

Love him!

just slipping out of your hands,
like it wasn't ever there,
"oh i wish i could have done more to make him happy"
is all you think all the time,
or maybe "he isn't happy with me",
is what circles your mind all day long,
you lay awake at nights,
figuring out ways to comfort him,
"oh i need to be a bit more cheerful so he could be happy",
or maybe,
"oh no i should not have done that,rather i should have done this",
why so gloomy and sad the whole world appears to you,
for that special one is not happy,
oh dear girl,
it might not be you who worries him,
its maybe him who worries him,
no dame of his city caught his eye recently,
no other issues to make him quiet,
only himself and his own inner demons are what he fears,
tell him you love him no matter what,
tell him you care no matter what,
tell me hes the only one,
show him you are there..

SHE IS ALL CURSED !

She was leaving him as its been too long they were together. She was not leaving because she was over him but because he was getting addicted to her. His addiction was not letting him think anything off her, he was getting more concerned and more caring towards her with each day passing and that was scaring her, scaring her to death. She cant let him near her as she was lethal and dangerous to people around her. "Why are you doing this to me? You prefectly knew that I can't think my life without you. I want you in my life. You were in my life when I was disowned by everyone. When I was broken into hundred of pieces and I was unable to gather myself up but u reconstructed me. You made me what I am today. How could you possibly do this to me." She was speechless because she was doing something bad to him, she was again making him the same scattered soul she once knew. But she was helpless, she can't help it because she knew staying with him will make her pay one day, as he was her weakness now and she had always suffered at the hand of her weaknesses. " Well everyone have to go one day and I guess it's my time but it doesn't mean the end of world or that you have done something wrong. It's just me! I am cursed for people around me. Those around me got hurt because of me and those bad vibes I got. Happiness are not meant for people like me so how come you thought about me being happy. And you are talking about reconstruction how could I ever reconstructed you? Haven't you seen how broken I am? Haven't you observed my deserted eyes? Haven't you witnessed me getting lost while you talking and my illogical n unsensible talks? So how could I be a blessing to someone when I am a curse to my ownself. So going away from you or making you away is for you own betterment because I don't have the strength to loss you as I have already lost alot on the way of my journey. So I am just making you safe by doing this." And with saying this she left him, hurting him again which she never wanted but this will heal n he will b saved from the curse she had on him. But he will never understand it he will always consider her the culprit the guilty and most of all a evil mean selfish person. But she is all cursed!!!

Rang aur Insan

Rangoon ka bi ajeeb hi khel hai. Kabhi kabhi rangoon ka taluq kisi ek rang sa hota hai, wo ek wahid rang jo rangoon ko motabaar krta hai. Wo ek rang jis ki talash mai sari zindagi guzar jati hai, wo ek rang jo hazaroon rangoon mai bi ho tu door sa nazar usko pehchan layti hai aur kabhi us ek rang ki kami bki rangoon ko berang kar dayti hai. Us ek rang ka hona khushii aur sakoon ki allamat hai aur us k na honay sa hazaroo waswasay zindagi mai aa jaty hai. Yehi haal insan ka bi hai. Usay b rangoon ki tarah motabaar karny k liye ek aisa hi rang chaiye hota hai jo usko munfarid kary, jo us ko mukamal kary jo sirf ushi ki zaat ka mehwaar ho. Us k liye wo ek rang jaisy sari kainat ho jis ko wo lahkoon k hajoom mai bi bina kisi duswaarii k dhoond lay. Aur wo us k rang mai rangta chala jata hai bina yeh sochy k us ka rang uski zaat par aashanaaz ho ga b k nhi. Magar wo us rang k rang mai khud ko fanna kar dayta hai aur wo rang yeh keh kar akhir mai usko chor jata hai k yeh kis rang mai rang gye ho. Rang aur insan kehny ko ek jaisy zarur ho skty hai hai magar haqeeqat mai hai nhi kyu k rang ek dafa char kar uthartha nhi aur na hi usko baad mai koi gilla hota hai jb k insan dosaray insan ko apnay rang mai daal kar usko yeh keh kar chor dayta hai k tm wo rang nhi jo mai chahta tha.

Patience

verily Allah is with the patient  - Al Quran

An Apology

for me you were never wrong
haunting thoughts however prolong
lingering for an answer i cry
your deportment which could justify
on a weird path i suddenly came
like you burning in the same flame
walking a little on that way
i realized i wasn't stray

my longing answers that path behold
what glittered wasn't at all gold
when ruins are carried within one's heart
and words become a piece of art
when soul is left neither dead nor alive
despite of affection it cant thrive
when trust becomes some jape
then care is nothing but inutile

natural is what all u did
after all this it couldn't be hid
so at this hour at you door i stand
stepping over the virtue so grand
apologizing for the erroneous thought
hoping for some rain in drought
waiting for the friend again
to share all the happiness and pain

Waiting was the part!

And she, faded him farewell and her eyes were still following his vehicle trying to see his glance till to the time it vanished from her sight, hoping that it might b the last time she sees him and if it's the last time, she wants to fill her eyes with his pictures to pass her life with those images. The vehicle disappeared but she still remained there, in the driveway with all her emotions arousing to the edge where her eyes became watery. To her, he is her world, her reason to smile, her reason to believe that fairytales exist, and her most valuable possession which she is proud and also at times afraid to lose, nd for him she could went to any limit. But having him at her side, she could face anything that comes along her way as he completes her world. He once told her that he hated seeing her being weak n crying and she told him that she would never cry n would not b weak as far as I am near and with you. And today, after so long she felt the warmth rolling down her cheeks making them wet and this was because he was leaving her. He was not leaving her as he was over her, nor he wants her to face the hardships alone or to do all things on her own but was leaving her for the honour of his oath which he took to defend his motherland. To him his duty was always his first priority and she adjusted with this, as he was important to her more than anything and to him his duty. She was not crying because he prefers his duty more, she was crying because she hated this waiting part because she wouldn't be able to feel him around, she wouldn't be able to see him at the starting and ending of the day and she would be missing his presence around him. But this waiting was the part of the package he offered her or more rightly the part of him. And she adores his every part and aspect. To her everything about him was as scared as him.

Melting Heart

like the burning candle my heart melts to illuminate the darkness on your path

picture credits : maryam nisar's creations