AN INCOMPLETE LAST LETTER !

It was eight in the morning and suddenly the door bell rang, she was awake as she was making breakfast and was about to leave for the office. "Who it can be at this time?" she thought, with different thoughts inside her head she open the door, and there was a man standing in a black suit just to delivered her a letter and without further delayed he left her wondering from whom might the letter could be. She came inside and closed the door behind her and started opening the letter which she was holding and by looking at the letter her world was shaken upside down. It's was his writing a person she wouldn't forget in centuries. 

24 November, 
12.35 am 
Hi, 
So when this letter will reached you I would be pretty dead and buried by than and the man who delivered you this will b delivering you the other things but that's the later part of the story.
I really have no idea why I am writing this to you after so long but every inch of my body have literally begged me to write this to you as it's your right to know what happened and it's my last wish to let you know. I knew it from a very long that you were in love with me and but I fell in love with you the day I saw you first time in that hall across the benches for our only class together. Shocked! Well I was too because it was impossible for me to believe that I fell for a complete opposite of me. I know, I know you would b wondering why am I writing all this now because there is no need of it now and I completely agree but I can't die with a burden in my heart which I carried inside me all those times. You know I have adopted all your habits, or might say I have become like you in somethings, like I have started liking rain. See exactly I was shocked too on the day I stepped into rain like I felt it and I was wonderful, the raindrops touching your skin and making you wet. I remembered you was so annoyed from me whenever I got irritated by the rain and cursing it and you always to make me more angry went into rain for hours and hours and left me rotting with anger.
Okay would you please stop crying! You know I never liked tears in your eyes. Anyways coming to the why I wrote you this letter is I was deeply and madly in love with you and still am. And yeah I was the person to end this relationship but how could I see you crying for a dying man. I was sick before I meet you and had completely lost hope, my doctors have suggested that if I continued the treatment I would be able to live couple of more years or even I could fight the illness and live a completely healthy life but I was so angry with my fate that I left all treatment and started living a life of a junkie. Wasting one complete year in this situation I met you and my life changed, for the first time in my whole life I wanted to live, but it was too late than. All the possibilities for me was king gone, and I missed all my chances to live my life with you. And than again I took all my frustration and anger and burned the fairy tale ending of our story and I left you, which was the biggest mistake of my life. And with these I don't have words to write more and I would be asking for any forgiveness because I got what I deserved. 
Okay the later part the man who gave you the letter will be delivering you the things I left for you and the things I kept which belonged to you. And please don't visit my grave as I wouldn't be able to forgive my self for seeing you in pain. Take care of yourself.
Loves....

Tears rolling down her eyes when she finished the letter, he surely has made her completely shocked and speechless but he was still the same person she knew. He haven't changed at all because he still left so many unanswered questions like he always do. This was his last letter but an incomplete one because he was not complete at all as his complacency lies with her and without her, he was just an incomplete jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing, and she was the missing piece that he made cleared to her. Now she have to visit his grave to let him feel the pain she felt for him all those times.

AND HE DID WHAT HE SAID !

After a week she had finally gathered up all the strength she could and open the door to the room, which was the kingdom of her beloved son. And while stepping inside the room she was wondering that how everything in this room was intact and prefectly in shape while her son was no more. His room was still having the fragrance of his body spray in it's atmosphere and everything in his room was in no order to be found. And she picked one of his shirt and was about to fold it and when she remembered her son saying, "kitni baar apko kaha hai meri cheezain na thek kiya kary mhjy nhi milti phr" and with this she freezed, leaving the shirt on the bed again. And with this all the strength inside her collapsed and she sat on the bed, thinking about what happened a week ago which doomed her house, which had taken away from her the purpose of her existence. 16th December 2014, a day of mourning for her now, a day she lost her son in a bloody massacre on a school caused by the Talibans which according to them was a payback, but this was a cowardly action which can't be justified by any means. Her son with other 141 children were slaughter by those cowards psychopaths in the name of Islam which they used for their butchery. She remembered that last week he was having mild fever and she was worried like hell and like a crazy person was taking him to different doctors because she cannot see him in pain. But those maniac had shot her child million times and bleeded him to death. His green uniform was thronged and covered with blood stains, even his shoes were having his blood, and the amount of pain her son suffered can't b described in words but only her heart was feeling it now. She bursted into tears and was crying unable to control the pain her heart suffered. She picked a shirt of her son's and drawn it near her chest, she could still sense the smell of his sweat from it. She still sobbing raised from the bed and look around in the room once again, his study table was still having the papers he left on it with his specs, his laptop was on his bed, the right side of the bed was having the guitar he forced her to buy, his dressing table was having the perfume bottle open making the fragrance dispersed into the atmosphere, and on wall Army posters which was his dream and different other posters of cars and bikes which was his craze. Everything was in its place except her son, whom will never gonna be back again as he had gone. One by one things were popping up in her mind from the day he was born to the day he died.....died, yes he died at the age of 16, an age which was supposed to be the start of his blossoming years but in his life the span of spring was never to be come as the autumn was very merciless. He always told her that he would make her proud and the whole world would know her as his mother and people will praise her and salute her and he did what he said about making her proud.
@Quandeel

Fifteen Minutes!

A shade of innocence mixing with red

Inside a heartbeat for times to dread

Beastly innocence of a feared mistress

Poisoning out some untold distress

Ignorant still treading the same old way

Suits herself the path they dare not sway

Comes then the moment silently to conquer

Desperate soul of a hopeless wanderer

Burying deep the past never to forget

What comes now they won't ever get

Rhymes going sore as they close 

In the shadows of her vicious pose

A Soldier's Last Words

You brought me up with love and care

Always blessed me with your prayers

You taught me to live for others 

Look what i did for my brothers

I am happy that i saved the stars

Which light up the faces of mothers all across

I went where the death fears to go 

With it my love for country grew

When i come home boxed up

I know i have turned your heads up

Oh mother don't cry

I was a soldier born to die

My love don't scream

With flowing tears' stream

I will always be around 

So please don't frown

We cannot but forever live

And we have to die but once

So why not to our country give

The life which we so easily can 

I got my name in the exalted

went staright to Jannah without being halted

I Knew It Was My Moment

When the stars were effulgent

And the world was reticent

When the air was dolorous

And the people were timorous

I knew this was my moment

To stand against the malevolent

Against those who cause terror

And still walk without any demur

To wake those in trance

And to fight by joining hands

Not wishing upon the dreams

Life isn’t always what it seems

I knew this was my moment

To stand for the insolvent

To battle for the rights

And make the future bright

To wipe off discrimination

And move on as a nation

I knew this was my moment

To save all from the torment

A Grain Of Infinity

People like things they don't understand, they think that it has some depth in it- which they don't have time to explore and they believe that the things they know are just too ordinary to praise or like. But in real, the things which appear to be deep are just a game of words. 
In fact, the things they claim to know hold such depths of which they are unaware , which very few people dare to explore- like a grain of sand - it may seem ordinary, but only few know that that little grain beholds the infinite universe within. 
I am that grain of sand, but you are not one of those eccentric idiosyncratic explorers.

Exhale Only Love

we rarely hear the inward music, but we are all dancing to it nevertheless

-rumi

udas sham (16/12)

mere sheher ky basi udaas hain 
yeh kia majra hua abhi..

main unwaan bhi na de saka
kaisa mazmoon tum ne parha dia..

ik chaman tha khilty khuwaboon ka
kis aag main tum ne jhonk_ka dia

ye kalejaa jo tum ne jala dia..
janty ho ky ik maan ka tha...

soraaj bhi mun chupaaty dhal gya...
aisa kia zulam kia mere sher_dilon k sheher main...

-QaynatShah

Burning in Ocean

" I'm in a deep ocean, there's all water over my body..I'm totally swamping in deepness .. It feels like there are only two conditions either I'm gonna survive or I would die... so firstly i am preferring to die. Because it's easy its easier to me. Because with these waves around me i can't survive. My mind doesn't accept this.. I have to die..yes.. it's good.. see I'm gonna lose my breath in no time I will close my eyes and it will be over.. and nothing will harm me. I won't feel anything. Wait a second why isn't this happening.. why couldn't I lose my breath.. why still I'm feeling this drowning.. now this later condition .. yes my heart has started pumping again.. it's saying to me.. come on ! if you ain't dying you must have to survive.. I am left with no choice and I also have started struggle for my survival.. you know its hard to survive then to die.. but still I can't help myself out of this.. I really can't..see where I'm standing this moment.. in between the two infinities here I am standing at zero.. I cant do anything.. what stage of life is this.. ? what we call this ? where to go .. what to do at this moment ? I feel my mind is frozen... BUT
I have already burnt myself in this ocean before...today, standing in here I know.. sometimes.. turmoils are sweeter .. they are more beautiful.. they are more congenial...I have become used to it.. and I don't want anyone to take me out of this.. because this inebriation takes me in a deme where I see no one  but that smiling face..."

A Black Day

Hearts bleed thinking about the massacre
And boils the blood seeing those attackers

In veil of humanity demons were they
Killing innocent brats cowards were they

Being strong is what we had been taught
But this way we'll be tested no one thought

We were punished for our father's profession
Wrongly they used religion for their aggression

Our little angels they tried to undermine
With green flags above all they rise and shine

Young flowers were nipped before full bloom
With their sacrifice diminishes the gloom

Together we became the emblems of fraternity
Embellished are our names for eternity

Paid the price of soldier's blood in our veins
Now dad its your turn to end this barbaric reign

Make them realize they messed with wrong fathers
Leave no fraction in taking revenge of the martyrs ...

That Pure Sacrifice (16/12/14)

A sacrifice so unlike any other in this whole wide world. I have seen widows and children crying uncontrollably in times so relentless over the mortal bodies of those great soldiers of the soil. Those soldiers died happily knowing that they saved a country from which they were, and they were the ones who were it's strongest base. If they had to die a million times they would do so with joy and without even a single hesitation. I couldn't survive those moments, i had a feeling that ate me from the inside out, but a soldier would survive them like a shield he is because he sees his generations ready for the same sacrifice he made....
Then yesterday, 16-12-14, a date which made me cry, I could only but see those soldiers with foggy eyes of theirs. This event was none like any other in the past, it made a soldier cry. A soldier only had these words, "War was for me not for my own children, i was to be where they are. Is this humane? Is this Humanity?". An old veteran who saw many die by his bullets and had many in his arms while they breathed their last ,cried in distress with his foggy eyes, "YA ALLAH TUNAY IN ZALIMON KO ITNI CHOOT DAY DI HAI, YA ALLAH IS ZULM KO KHATAM FARMA", he didn't eat his meal in that distress and just slept that night. Those children were something more than the others, they were the ones who left those soldiers calling out loudly, crying so relentlessly. The soldier was the one who couldn't control it this time, he was broken he was shattered. But, he raised his head with a fire no extinguisher could put out, that fire would only grow.
They didn't die!!!!!!!
Those children, people say, died. No they are still alive, they see you when you pass by their grave, they feel your footsteps. ALLAH Almighty still provides them with food beneath that wet soil. However, they did move out of their Houses and moved to a better place, a place which is limitless, boundless, and free........
Masoom wo jaan ik kali ki manind woh dagh chor gayi,
masalnay walay ko tars na aya aur wo murjha gayi,
Apnay he BABA pay wo ik aesa qarz laga kay gayi,
kay us pathar ko b moom ki tarhan pighla kay gayi,

wo aik kahmosh c paheli !

..ghambeer khamoshi.aur wo khudi se sawal kr k khudi jawab dhoond ri..kbi khud ko mutma'in krne k lye koi jawaz deti..kbi khud ko hi wakt k panchi pr uraan bharnay deti..kbi khud num ankhain chupanay ki tug-o-do mein wo,apne chehre pr gham abaarat krleti..kbi chehre ki wairaani ko ankhon mein samo leti..wo uski ankhon ki nami aur chehre ki thakan dikhae sb ko deti.. saway uske jo uski waja buna.. mgr usi ko wo kia roti..usay yaaron ne b na smjha..wo aik paheli c.. wo aik raaz c.. wo ikhlaaq k khol mein chupa hua asraar koi..wo wafa ki aik tasveer..roz us sarak k kinaray kisi k laut anay ka intezar krti..wo wisal ki ghariyon ko ginti..wo firaaq k lamhon ko roti..wo apne ap ko ghalat smjay janay pr ashk bahati.. mgr us nadaan ko ye na pata chala k ye dunia aur iske dhanday hi kch aise.. na janay kon thi wo.. kahan chali gae wo..

The Unvalued Gems

in this journey we all bled
on the paths deemed misled
moving further freely we sinned
leaving marks yet faces grinned
when the light fades away
even the path makes us sway
with a spark at tunnel's end
hope is what we try to mend
holding on to the frail taut rope
eyes fixed on that spark of hope
hope here from nowhere comes
pieces of a broken puzzle  everybody sums
dark clouds of doubt and hate when grow
the word may seem so hard to know
then dare to look past through those clouds
and find the answers to those doubts
the doubts , thou fears have answers you seek
the deeper the plunge, turns stronger the weak
the strength we got was from darkness trail
once afraid of rain now doesnot care about hail
once feared the rain yet conquered the hail?
steer the ship in the ocean with canvas sail
once set to sail, beware O men !
as storm and hurricane cares for none
in the wake every being shall perish
yet this misery a few will cherish
the chosen few, the brave and strong
shall one day reap all they had sown
seeing them the stars will stare
the precious gems with blinding glare

An Encounter

past all the pain of the battles fought
they meet again on a path less sought
flashback starts and they are reminded of all the scars
standing beside each other they are neither together nor far
though tempted by the devils of hate
trying and trying to push it away
why hold onto memories hard?
what to gain from grudges of past?
crushing the ego in this plight
forgetting all the useless fights
rising eyes with hesitation and fervor mixed
from heavens above watch angels fixed

Writing The Nature

She was a girl who was overly sensitive , who used to cry over every thing no matter how minor it was but with passage of time she changed for good.
She felt in the same way but now she got a control over her tears and emotions and whenever the limits of bearing were crossed she locked her self in and burst out into tears and let out all she had kept in for a long time.
Then came a stage when her feelings started to take form of words, words directly from the soul. Every feeling was turned into colours on a paper in matter of seconds but this halted .. all of a sudden.
This was because writing made her feel things very deeply. Depth which made her hallucinate, over think and as a result suffer more -something that wasn't supposed to be that way.
She felt hollow,defeated,depressed,ignored and most agonizing ... she felt nothingness. The girl who used to notice every little detail and felt every thing to its core felt nothing at all , vain and helpless.
She even ignored the nature - nature which she once adored and could die for a few minutes under the night sky, now for months she didn't look at them. The smell of flowers, buzzing bees, the wet grass at dawn, all the beauty she once craved for was no more beautiful and full of colours or may be it made her realize about the ugliness of life. She ignored every invitation of nature and continued to live as a hollow being.
She lost her worth and was unable to live with that fact, but one day out if nowhere the odds favored her, for the first time in forever. The same thing which made her feel down and worthless now made her feel alive.
She had lost all hopes but nature gave signals, signals she waited for desperately once , her instincts encouraged her as well and Voila!!! She got what she ever wanted.
Things made sense once again , she was free to feel and write. She was in a state of unexplainable joy. After a long period she paid attention towards the sky ,which was full of dark clouds. She was looking at them with sparkle in her eyes hoping that the nature would forgive her for ignoring it , and it did. The sky poured down the waters over her as a token of forgiveness.
She felt alive once again. Once again her belief was strengthened that the nature gives us signs ...!!

The Change in Routine

He whistled along the morning news sound track on the radio as his fingers adjusted the tie knot on the raised collars of his old but neat shirt. Hurriedly, adjusting his collars with one hand and stacking all the books scattered on the carpeted floor with the other, Ali sat down on the small chair in his room which was well-lit by the morning sun. He answered the news guy’s greeting with a smile on his face while tying his shoe laces. The news, as usual, was not of Ali’s interest.  He switched off his little portable radio and reached for his bag over the unmade beddings on the floor. He pulled the bag over his shoulder and grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall. Shutting the door behind him, he ran downstairs. The land lady was walking in the small garden. Ali wished her a loud, “Good Morning!” and got a stern reply. Not paying much attention to her, he kicked the scooter to a start and began his daily journey.

 The scooter stopped at the same tea restaurant to which he had been coming to for over a couple of years now. The owner, Majeed, wished him from the counter with a smile and he returned the gesture with a raised hand. The waiter came running towards him with ‘today’s breakfast’, but he already knew the menu. He sipped his cup of tea while fiddling with the bread in front of him when he heard the voice he had been expecting right at the moment. “Ali Sahib! You look as hot as ever. Hope today we see a nice girl when you return!” Rani, the eunuch, jested at him. “Rani, no girl can ever match your beauty.” he smiled and reached for his wallet.  ”Sahib! Leave the money. Your words are enough for me today.” Rani answered with a wink.  Even though he knew that Rani was an important part of the vile business of a brothel but still Ali had certain affection for this eunuch. He got up, left a few bucks on the table and raced his scooter towards the office building.

 Ali reached just in time, a few minutes before his boss arrived. He sat in his cubicle starting off with all his routine work. The boss came and started his long speech while elaborating the day’s targets and assigning tasks.  It was a hectic day and Ali felt relieved at midday during the break. After the break it was the same usual humdrum. Exhausted and drenched he left the office after his boss left. It was not that he disliked his job but he was sometimes tired of the monotony. That was the reason he had decided to continue his education. Nowadays he was at war with the books waiting for him inside his small rented room.

In his thoughts, humming to himself, Ali rode his scooter back on the same roads. As he neared home, he suddenly heard someone shouting his name from an alley. Cautiously turning the scooter towards the direction of the voice, Ali saw what he would never forget. A teenage girl was surrounded by three young boys and on the side walk Rani was lying in a pool of blood.  Hearing the scooter, the boys ran into the neighboring alley.  Ali jumped off the scooter and ran towards Rani who was now unconscious. He stopped a cab on the road and with the help of the girl placed Rani inside it. Ali jumped in the front seat and the girl got in the rear with Rani. After a few sprinkles of water Rani gained consciousness. Seeing Ali, Rani reached for his shoulder  and whispered, “Sahib!… Take care of my girls….You look hot as…”

With an agonizing smile Rani fell asleep never to wake up again. Ali buried the body in a deserted graveyard after a small funeral by the locals. He took a cab with the girl and reached back to the alley where he left the scooter. The scooter was gone and Rani’s blood was drying up. He took a deep sigh and covered his face in his hands. The cab driver shook him and asked for the destination. He gestured towards the girl, asking her to guide the driver.

The cab stopped at the door of a crooked building inside a dark lane. He stepped out and the girl took the lead. Entering the building, he heard faint sounds of Eastern music playing inside. Bypassing several doors the girl lead him to a small door and went inside. A middle aged man sat on the ground with his legs folded. Upon seeing him the girl starting sobbing and ran to hug the man. Ali sat nearby on the floor. “What is it, my dear?” inquired the man. “Baba! Rani is dead.” cried the girl. Baba sighed heavily.  Looking at Ali, he inquired, “Who are you?” Ali replied uneasily “I’m Ali. Rani asked me to take care of…the girls. I don’t know what was meant by that.” Baba kissed the sobbing girl’s head and asked her to go to her room. He got up, stretched the prayer rag on the ground. Asking Ali to join him, he started off with his prayers. Ali had not prayed in years and he was stunned to see this man praying inside a brothel. He sat still, his mind blank, when he heard Baba’s voice; “You don’t seem to be on good terms with God!” he was smiling as he folded the rag. “I don’t know. Maybe I am not comfortable praying in here.” replied Ali. “Well, you may have to if you are willing to fulfill Rani’s wish.” said Baba smiling, “Come! Let me show you around.”

Baba led the way and Ali followed. They entered a hall where music was playing loudly and a veiled girl danced in the center. Baba sat down on a cushion amongst the cheering people in the hall and beckoned Ali to follow. The men in the hall drank to their heart. A serving girl came with more drinks. The men tried to play with the girl and pulled at her veil. Baba got up and took the girl’s job, waving her away. The men abused Baba for this and pounced on the dancing girl instead. Baba took out a gun from his side and waved at them to back off asking Ali to show them outside.

Closing the doors behind the men, Ali rushed back to Baba and inquired about the situation. Baba took him to his room and asked instead, “What did you observe?” “I saw a girl dancing and some guys enjoying the moment until you spoiled it.” Replied Ali. “You see only what your eyes see. You don’t look beyond.” Baba seemed disappointed. “Tell me what’s beyond!” inquired Ali. “Rani used to be there instead of the serving girl. We drug the men in audience so they sleep till the morning. This way none of the girls get even touched. I’m the only pimp who looks after virgins here.” Baba came closer to him and asked, “Are you willing to take Rani’s job?” Ali fell down on his knees and held his head in his hands. This was too much for him to digest in a day. Baba placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “Get ready if you are willing.” Ali was confused, “Ready for what?” Baba remained calm, “Ready to fulfill Rani’s wish. The Maalik would be here soon.”  And Baba left the room.

                Moments later the door opened and Baba entered with a stout man wearing too much gold. The man shouted “I don’t know whatever it is! I want the fucking business running. Just do it! Bring him down!” The man left.

                Baba then came along and took Ali in another room with a tiled floor. He asked him to lie down on the cot in the center. The stout Maalik stood along watching keenly.  He injected Ali and a few moments later Ali went into a deep slumber. When he woke up he felt a deep agonizing pain in his groin. He was injected again and he slept. When he finally woke up he was asked to dress in silken women clothes. Baba came along, giving him a tray of serving cups, he led him to the door of the hall and gestured him to go inside. Ali served everyone in the audience and was not touched even once. He sat at a side in the hall. Later on the men started dozing off. A few moments later, all of them were fast asleep. The veiled girl stopped dancing and removed her veil. She smiled at Ali and left the room. Baba took Ali by the arm and led him to his room. He started speaking, “the Malik wants a eunuch only to deal with the girls and customers so this is a price you pay for a little good”.  “Why are you not castrated?” asked Ali.  “Well, I am his son.” Ali was shocked but Baba Interrupted before he could speak. “Let’s pray.”

                Next day Ali went to the same tea restaurant and saw a guy in an old but neat shirt with a necktie having breakfast. Ali said with a smile, “Sahib! You look hot. May you get a lot of girls today!” the man asked, “who are you?”  Ali hesitated, “I am Ali-sha….I am Alisha.” The man said, “Well Alisha you are the hottest girl around.” and he reached for his wallet. Ali stopped him and said, “Your words are better than your money.” Ali then went to Majeed who gestured him to stop with his hand and said, “I know everything. Welcome to the new world. Go and pray! Do pray for me! I wish I had the courage to be in your place. My restaurant is free for you. You are God’s favorite!”

It was the first time in his life that Ali felt he had accomplished something. He started walking towards a neglected side of the city. There, in a deserted graveyard, rested someone whom he had to thank for this blessing.             

Old Lies

His eyes grew old with the lies he lived for all of his existence. As he sat on that rocking chair that sidereal day, the light shown on his wrinkled old face, he went over them again. One by one they echoed with enough pain to scar the whole globe. As he did he felt foggy, foggy of the times he lived. They felt almost as if it were a combined nightmare, each second of it screaming out blaming him for being. His existence almost becoming shaky as he asked himself, "Is this the life i should be proud of? Are these the lies I should continue to withhold within? Have i not hauled enough already?". Had he!!!!!!!!
As that final juncture struck the only truth surfaced, Her Unfathomable Love. With those million dimensions of her love, those seconds she gave to him were the only cherished words. So many yet so little of them he had been able to absorb.
A last tear broke that dry path, It scorched within his tear duct and as it dropped out so did his soul. Cheerfully looking through those silver linings, He flew to her, HE FLEW TO HER!!!!!!!!!

Just Thoughts

He was just jaded, every time he was idle his wit would start reasoning on something. No matter how much he tried to avoid it, it would happen each and every single time. Each time the intensity of it increased many folds to the last one. Almost at times he was lost, just walking about his own contemplation. He couldn't do anything but listen to that inner voice of him when it sounded. It almost was a call unlike any other he had ever answered. But, it were his questions that were left unanswered, just hanging there as if someone had chocked the very source of them......

Sitting there in the corner, jumbled up into a ball like figure, his knees to his chest and head bent down resting on them. His soul was almost done for, almost eaten up when that voice raised itself again, "Real men don't cry, or do they?". "Left it hanging there again , huh?" he answered that conscience........

Experimenting with Democracy in Pakistan

I think that throughout the history of Pakistan we have only experimented with democracy in between the large tenures of dictatorship. I for one think that one of the main reasons that democracy has not been the answer is because of the people and the politician; there is nothing wrong with democracy itself. Illiteracy is at an all-time high in Pakistan and this has been a problem since the beginning. I think that democracy is suited for countries with high literacy rate because for democracy to be effective the people need to know what’s best for them and through education we can look far enough and make wise decisions or have the foresight to elect the people that will take the country forward. Due to illiteracy majority of the population have absolutely no idea what’s best for them or the country and make ill choices which hinders the growth of the country. Another point is that this country has been unlucky enormously by not being blessed with an honest, dedicated leader. We have always been gifted with greedy, selfish, short-sighted, power hungry and largely illiterate politicians whose only aim is to gain a seat in the government so they can get rich and powerful. There is no proper code of conduct or structure. No one to keep check on them and thus democracy is only an experiment in this country where the people conducting the experiment keep changing and along with them changes the core of the experiment, the policies and the methods and therefore it never prospers.
 My research paper was on a similar topic. Like i mentioned there, democracy has always been the by-product in the aftermath of a dictatorship era, where the leader of the post-dictatorship time leading the chant of democracy gained their power with the influence of the dictator. They are the product of the thing they are rallying against. This itself ruins the true essence of democracy and destroys the charm of the real democracy. Take ZA Bhutto for example. Granted that he belonged to an already powerful family, it was his relations with General Iskander Mirza and later with General Ayub Khan that really catapulted him into the scene of politics and made him an influential figure. Shahnawaz Bhutto had good relations with Iskander Mirza even before Pakistan; this led to great relations between Mirza and ZA Bhutto. A quote from the book “Zulfi Bhutto of Pakistan: His Life and Times” by Professor Stanley Wolpert,
            "Mirza had been a regular guest for the annual hunt in Larkana, staying at Al-Murtaza (the Bhutto family home)… . (In the) winter of 1955-56, he brought (General) Ayub along to Larkana for the hunt .Both generals enjoyed the generous hospitality of the Bhutto family ..."
Through this informal relationship between the generals and the Bhutto family, ZA Bhutto captivated the generals with his genius and they saw the leader within the young man. Iskander in his time and Ayub in his, gave Bhutto important seats; seats of power and responsibilities. He started off well and showed the right side of what democracy is and became a peoples' favourite. After the fall of Ayub and Yahya and the separation of East Pakistan, in which Bhutto was heavily involved in, Bhutto became the leader of the country. Later on he lost his way and the lust of power deviated from his form of democracy to no democracy at all. Martial Law was implemented by General Zia and the cycle started again.
Same was the case with another major politician, Nawaz Sharif. He gained his power mainly during Zia’s tenure and later tried to overthrow the same man that got him into that high seat.

The dilemma with this country is that none of the politicians work for Pakistan but only for themselves. That’s why in the past it has been easy to remove democratic governments and introduce martial law on the basis of corruption, nepotism, money laundering etc. If we consider recent times, this is the first scenario in which there have been a completion of one elected party’s rule and another has been elected to rule without the interference of the armed forces. This too was not because democracy had moved out of the experimental state and was beginning to take hold, it was due to the fact that martial law was not in the global picture, not part of the agenda put forward by world powers: namely America. The word democracy does not only mean that people get to elect the government but also that they get their rights, their security and when they don’t get what they deserve they have the option of raising their voice and being heard by the ruling party. If the premise here that democracy in any way exists in Pakistan based solely on the fact that an 'elected' government managed to complete its tenure? If this is the only standard for democracy then indeed, Pakistan is truly a democratic state. Let’s not talk about the absent citizen's fundamental rights, the absent state, the absent infrastructure or non-existent security. If we consider these factors then I believe Pakistan hasn’t even experimented with democracy let alone implemented it.

The Mistake

He toppled into a discrepancy, the discrepancy of  unfathomable fondness. It felt alive and unlike anything he had ever touched. He could levitate higher, higher than those balls of burning blue and red flames in that space above him. He could be burned but would still feel invincible, ashed and still be immortal. He would swallow his pride, he would chew up his attitude just to be with her.........

As she left , that was the only moment he knew to be true for what was a virtual facet. The moment he crossed that threshold was the moment he became a man. His mind boomed with all those thoughts yet blaming himself for being so naive. He mistook the meaning of  Love only to end up in a night so dark as if the stars were no more , as if the moon had gone astray........

So, he just endured it facing that band dressed up in Red, Green, and Gold. He stood there with his eyes exploring the abyss dead straight in front of him. He celebrated with the color of black for the juncture he had been dragged into, and blue for the portrait of his sad self.
How he had not assessed what he was going to be in with....................

God's there.. !

... then a day came when he left her ...in the mid of darkness and she was asking him with bare eyes : " why are you leaving?.. tell me Daniel? " and but that day he didn't say a word and left silently..left her without reasons, and with so many questions... left her between right and wrong..he left because he had to.. Her face was looking so wretched..she was crying helplessly she couldn't have stop him.. she sat there in that darkness for hours.. suddenly she felt her shriveled eyes  .. she shook her head and noticed the gyration was again started what was stopped some moments before ..what was that feeling ? pain of love ? "pain of love would be the most hurting one" those words from that tattered book were roaming in her head, the very moment she decided , that was the pain of love she felt right there, that day alone in that darkness under the empty sky ..she started shooting " Oh God! why have this all happened? why this has happened to me? why have you selected me to suffer this pain? Why me? Why have he left me? You know he had no right to do that to me..Sarah's eyes were again wet .. she cried her heart out and then... Then? Then What? Ah,,! She got up  without anyone's help she picked herself up again, wept her tears and started walking alone..All the way thinking to herself she seek .."What was that? who helped me to stand up again? I wasn't so strong I was so helpless..my agony,, that was so colossal.. no one was there.. aimlessly her eyes saw the sky...".. and then..
Sarah and I, both of us got the answer.. God is there.. Always..! You know.. he have already chosen those ones, who He loves.. He want them to be on His path.. He makes them see the Truth of life.. and makes them realize that there is no one except Him who loves them as truly as He do.. He pore their lives with miseries and let them SEE.. SEE HIM without being exposed..he let them see Him, feel Him..around them.. in everywhere...

Her Dimension

Just as i was scrolling the net, i fell upon this snap, thought i'd loosen up a bit by letting my imagination free and write in the process...........
FYI, this is Michelle Rodriguez........
So, sitting there levitating in her own self, she was just so lost, lost in the thoughts of a far fetched world of her own. It was an unfathomable loop, a loop so vast and untouched that she just felt intrigued to explore it. She looked so colorful, so red yet so blue, so stunning as if a bright light crossed over to another dimension for the first time. A breath taker. No, a heart clamp, yes that was what she was. Eyes so hidden as if she wanted to protect herself, to protect the world she so wanted to be her's and for no one else.
But for how long?, how long?

Her Nightmare

Her eyes, forcefully dilated, scrolling through the masses as if she was looking for someone or something. Gasping loudly, just scrolling. Timid to her surroundings as if the turf, the buildings, the lights, the dark as if the whole universe itself was slamming down on her..........
The eyes, so red, so tearful, so fearful. Fists crumpling the piece of paper she was clasping tightly. She tried to sob but the voice just won't come out. Her screams limited to her own ears............
Suddenly she woke up with a deafening screech..........
Still the tears dripped down......................

Life

What is life????
it wasn't the bygone, it isn't what lies ahead, it's the present he lived in. The past is what was accounted for, the future he was uncertain about. The present was what he had to live in, but how???? He often thought how, how he had to live , how he was expected to live in that one millisecond, that little crack. How he had to fulfill his craves?, the moments he longed for? , those expectations of someone else he was a part of? HOW????
His mind constantly looped around just one thought as he walked on that pavement and looked atop those trees, "how am i supposed to do this in just a little glitch?" as, all that present to him was a little glitch and nothing more because he always desired it to be something more than just a little moment.
That extremity in life was all he wondered about, was that life? Is that existence????
So naive his soul was that those complications made it more stained.............

The veil.

Behind that veil of contentment, she hid away from the world a dimension. Nobody knew her true countenance, all they could see was another customary domino. Her corporeal actuality was but far hidden behind a paper self, a paper everybody could write on but no one could feel.......

As she waited for the one who could extricate from her the real she, she saw what the mob was all about. How in this paper world hid the people so paper like building their paper towns.........
As she smiled, she only just hid behind that veil of contentment.........

-----> This is inspired by "Paper Towns" a novel by "John green"

I Write

I write, with my fingers o so tightly clasping on to the pen and my eyes o so densely glued to those lines, I write. This apprehension i have is none like the others, so unalloyed , so extricating and so in my power. This faculty i have, these skills with which i jolt down my ideas , levitate me to a new dimension. Away from the mask of myself, which i have worn for so long..........
Pphhsssssssss.........
So unlike me, this mask, still clinging to me manifesting me a world of lies. Only this can take me away, abroad from just me to being myself.......
I write..........

He Wondered

Walking by that mile long track, lost in the horde of mortality, he saw another just like him. Lost in her tracks, trying to fathom, she looked so delicate and astounding. In one swift motion she put away those astray strands of hair. As she lifted that countenance, their eyes met.....
He stumbled on his own feet yet managed to gather quickly trying not to break that gaze. His heart throbbed like a racing horse that wins after so many defeats. His eyes dilated past their limits, his breath became heavy as if someone dropped a stone on his chest....
All he wondered as she passed by was the constant question of "Did she feel the same ?". Did She??????

He walked

December, that month in which even the trees wilt, but how could he stand??????
Questioning his mind, constantly scratching, as he walked on those leafs crunch came the voice. Those trees neatly lined up on either side of that track, those sag leafs neatly brushed into piles after a pause. He learned something, something that was oddly true yet so pinching, that truth hidden in those piles. "Never to be green again, never to be attached", those lines played over a loop.
Hands in the pockets of his brown corduroy pants, warmed by that grey overcoat that flew just below his waste, kicking those stray leaves with his pointy dark brown shoes.
He walked passively with his head bent down as the sun light hid behind those light grey clouds in that evening, a cold breeze touched his soul.................
He walked...............

The Artist

The Artist........
Sitting in your car, idly passing by those sights, thinking the way you just are. Its so annoying to see the world aim at you as if being yourself is a transgression. They contemplate, judge and analyze you as if you live in a world different from their's, yes I do. I walk in a dimension of my own, a universe parallel to their reality. Living like others desire you to be is not a life worth living, living like yourself, now that is existence. 
My view is pretty different to yours, I think life is Levitation itself, and not that point to which you finally levitate. It's not that fondness where you stand after you are done, it's those numerous points you encounter on your journey to your final raison d'être ................